There I sat, in the centre chair of the centre isle of Mr. Petrello’s classroom. As I slowly dozed off, the first revelation came to me within a dream, shortly before I would be awakened by Petrello himself. Thus, I recount the events of Revelation I:
All will be given tests to serve as a display of knowledge of whatever the current unit may be. For those who have studied well, the task shall be simple: Display one’s knowledge, and the payoff shall be given. Apply one’s diligence, and the payoff shall be given. Use one’s calculator, and the payoff shall be taken.
For there will be those who attempt to use their calculator during non-calculator portions of the test, and they shall be swiftly dealt punishment. The test shall be taken, and the grade shall be eliminated. For those who do not abide by Petrello’s Law, they shall be separated from those who do. They shall be cast into the burning red ink of his grading pen.
Alas! Do not despair! Petrello is forgiving, even after displayed failure! The option to return after school shall be offered to all for extra help! Should one do so, they will be placed back onto the Path of Petrello, and onwards toward the promise of a passing grade. Alas, Petrello forgives all, even after failure.
Shortly thereafter, I woke. Petrello looked unto me in spite of my slumber, and nodded. A smile crossed his beard and I was reminded at once that all is well.